Article inspired by relationship coach, James Bauer, author of “His Secret Obsession”
If you’re like most women, you probably spend a lot of time trying to be the perfect woman for the man you want. You spend tons of time making yourself look attractive and sexy. You present yourself as interesting, worldly, fun and not the slightest bit needy.
All that time you spend showing him just how right you’d be for him… how fascinating his future would be if he chose you to be the woman by his side.
Why Doesn’t He Notice You?
Well, it doesn’t work. It never works. Why? Why is it that you work so hard, yet the man in your life doesn’t seem to notice you at all or just takes you for granted? Can it be that he’s too immature to recognize a good thing until it’s gone? Or perhaps it’s because you’ve been doing all the work for him.
The fact is, if he doesn’t contribute some work to keep your relationship going, he won’t value it.
The things that men value most are those that they have to work hard to get. If a man has to put years of study and effort into getting a college diploma, he’d value it much more than if you’d just put it into his hand.
If a man spends weeks wooing a lady in an effort to get her to go out with him, he would value her much more than if you were to hand him the perfect girlfriend. This is why it works to play hard-to-get.
However, there’s a big problem with playing the hard-to-get game. Once he’s actually got you, that strategy comes to an end.
When a man realizes that he’s won you, something happens… It’s almost as if he’s thinking, “game over”. His mind will already be working on his next challenge. You will be wondering what is going on and how you can prevent it from wrecking your relationship.
You wouldn’t be the only woman who experiences this; all women do.
Some women give up on love. They’re careful to avoid getting too close to a man for fear of scaring him away. Other women, however, try a different approach: they get professional help. Relationship expert, James Bauer, is one of the people they turn to.
Why Do Men Change So Suddenly?
James noticed that many of his clients were complaining that their men were playing “Jekyll and Hyde”. Everything would be going well but then things would change, seemingly overnight.
A man who had been interested, warm and affectionate would suddenly become remote. He would no longer smile in greeting, nor have any time for her. His kisses would be terse and he’d avoid making eye contact.
After some investigation, James could make sense of everything. He understood why these men were pulling back. He could see what they needed – but were not getting.
It was not because there was anything wrong with those women. Instead, it all boiled down to something he called “the hero instinct”.
Men Like to Be a Hero
Most women unwittingly do something that drives men away.
Women are caring by nature, and that is a wonderful thing. They are always “there” for their man. They always make time to look after him. They would do anything for him. However, in the process, they don’t realize that they’re actually taking something away from him. They’re taking away his purpose.
In reality, he wants to be your hero – he doesn’t want you to be his hero.
Men are crazy about heroes. Look at how many men are still fascinated by superhero movies and Marvel comics. Every boy grows up dreaming about being the kind of hero who can save the world – and getting the girl at the same time.
Most men don’t get to satisfy their world-saving side in their day-to-day lives. Maybe they’re not able to save the world, but they can still get the girl.
Getting the girl would be an honorable test for an ordinary guy with the heart of a superhero. It requires superhuman charm, confidence and immunity to pain. Now, all that he’s missing is… a girl who needs a hero.
Are you a girl who needs a hero?
Let’s take a guess… no, you don’t fit that picture. You’re strong. You’re independent. You can drive stick-shift. You can repair a dripping faucet. You know how to take care of yourself.
You have no need to look for a man to “complete” you. Instead, you’re kind, generous and loving. You’re a giver and have a lot to offer a man. Nothing would make you happier than to find a man who is willing to receive all you have to give.
Well, that’s the reason why you’re not getting heroes showing up in your life. That’s why you’ve been saddled with so many takers instead. You get men who take all you have, then leave you high and dry.
If it’s a hero you want, you need to advertise for one. Here are 3 ways to attract and keep a man:
3 Ways You Can Attract a Hero Into Your Life, Starting Now
- Ask a man to help you with something. Ask for recommendations on buying a new laptop. Ask him to investigate a new rattling noise that’s developed in your car. Ask him to move a heavy sofa to a different position in your sitting room. When he’s done, thank him warmly, giving him a big smile of appreciation. Does that make you look needy? No, it doesn’t. It shows you’re a woman who has space for a man in her life.
- Enjoy being in male company. Men love it when women appreciate men for just being men. So what if he spends hours talking about his favorite baseball team. So what if his home looks like a sports temple. So what if he presses his trousers by placing them under his mattress. He’s a man, it’s OK. You don’t need him to be more like you; you’re already fulfilling the feminine side of the equation.
- Let him earn your respect. Superheroes love opportunities to prove themselves – they love challenges. They don’t want to be given an award just for showing up, nor do they want your love handed to them on a plate. They want to earn it. There’s one thing they crave even more than a woman’s enduring love: a challenge. Give him opportunities to prove himself. You don’t have to do any work to win him over – just sit back, relax and grant him the pleasure of winning your admiration.
Keep On Learning!
Do you think it’ll be fun doing this? Sure you do! Watch the video below – it’s about a relationship-enhancement method you can learn once, but will benefit you for the rest of your life.